You’ve been sold a lie.
A kindly-meant, loving, well-intended lie.
There’s a prevalent belief in dating-lore that “love will happen when you least expect it” — and that if you just “trust the process/universe/surrender,” love will magically appear at your doorstep with a bouquet of pink roses.
This lie is usually spread TO women BY other women for whom love DID happen when they least expected it — and so they then convey this unhelpful advice to their friends and family, lovingly-but-incorrectly attributing their success to their lack of effort.
In fact, I say that “Love will happen when you least expect it" is not a real thing.
And, what's WORSE than it not being real — it actually makes those of us for whom love HASN'T just "appeared at our door" feel like something must be WRONG with us — because everyone ELSE is running into handsome hunks at the grocery store, right?
What's wrong with US?
The answer is nothing. NOTHING is wrong with you.
For most people, love DOESN'T just “happen”.
The reason why love just seems to “happen” for some people, and not for others, is that for the people who've found love unexpectedly, love was the happy consequence of patterns of habits, behaviours and attitudes that put them in an optimal position to find love. Knowingly or unknowingly, these people learned how to orient themselves mentally and situationally so that they were in exactly the right mindset and position to meet someone “organically.”
These people, while all of the time behaving “naturally,” were engaging in patterned, repeatable sets of behaviours that collectively produced a clear result.
These same people attributed their success to “luck,” because, to them, their success FELT like luck!
But their success wasn’t luck. Their success was the direct result of small actions, taken repeatedly, with a posture open to finding love.
For those of us looking for love, these actions are both learn-able and repeat-able. For us to create our OWN systems to find love, we just need to learn what they are and to build them into a strategy.
If you’re putting a lot of effort into dating, there is nothing “wrong” with you.
It’s not “crazy” or “desperate” to be intentional about dating.
Strong, healthy, aligned partnerships take effort.
That effort starts in the dating stage.
PS. If you're drained from drowning in a sea of dreadful dating dossiers and want nothing more than to just find someone attractive and normal for once — I see you, I was you, and I'm here for you!
I walk you through how to spot the sneaky red flags that are lurking in your Hinge queue and how to gain the CONFIDENCE to walk away from them inside of my FREE workshop, Confident & Clear Dating. Confident & Clear is my FREE workshop where I walk you through how to avoid red flags and date with confidence — EVEN IF you hate dating and never want to use a dating app ever again. (I get it!)
If this sounds like your thing, get the free workshop here.